A Job Well Done

In the words of that guy from that show I’ve never actually watched “I love it when a plan comes together.”

I’ve been really putting the hours in over the last fortnight or so, it’s been great fun as usual, but the best part is getting a good reaction from the clients. Recently, I’ve been working on some display artwork for an insurance company, that’s still being finalised so more on that later.

Also just done a cute little avatar for a “Mommy Blogger” called Kari who writes the blog “Mommy to Elodie” and I’m running a little competition for her followers. Basically I’ll make a note of all of her followers who like my Facebook page and follow my Twitter account and at the end of the month I’ll have a prize draw! The winner will get a cute avatar of them, and their little bundle of joy, for free! Kari really liked hers, she wrote a pageful of praise on her blog, which made me chuffed to bits.

Finally, I just finished a zombie portrait for a very cool mum who got in touch to commission a zombie version of her son, for his upcoming birthday. She said she wanted him and his dog, zombified, planting a Union Jack into the peak of a hill. It’s not the strangest request I’ve ever had, so, sure thing!

I started it on Sunday and sent it to her on Monday night and this is her reaction:

“you’re a genius!!! It’s totally brilliant, Jack, thanks so much! It’ll take pride of place in a room that does, itself, resemble a zombie apocolypse!! Thanks a million. ”

I’m glowing with happiness. When my clients are happy, I’m happy!

So! Who’s next for the zombification treatment? That’s the question.

Zombie Portrait

Advertisement

Helpful Money Saving Voucher Codes

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve browsed the interwebs just looking for voucher codes, it’s really quite a sensible thing to do. I fill out the order form for, whatever it is I’m ordering, and just as I get to the end section if I see a box that says “enter coupon code” I then open a new window and do a search for any. It’s hardly ever a wasted mission and I usually save a few quid on whatever it is I’m ordering.

So, I guess I’d like to give a little back. I’ve got a bunch of coupon and vouchers here for online services and I thought hey, there might be people out there just like me who are looking to save a few pennies here and there and they might really appreciate the help. With you in mind then, here are some codes:

VISTAPRINT

Vistaprint is an awesome site, at least I think so. You can get a ton of stuff on there, all kinds, with your information printed on it. Who doesn’t love that? You can even have your own images uploaded onto the products, which is personally what I like best about it. One of the things I have noticed about Vistaprint is that it’s constantly shifting and changing and they have so many offers and vouchers in effect at any one time, you can access their site via a dozen different links and will receive different prices on their products each time. You can, in essence, shop around on the same site. To be honest, it sort’ve puts me in mind of “The Cube”, you know that film where the rooms keep changing? Anyway…
As a regular customer, I get sent a LOT of vouchers for different products. So:
25% off mugs – http://www.vistaprint.biz/mugs
25% off anything – http://www.vistaprint.co.uk/thanks25
25% off anything – http://www.vistaprint.co.uk/25savings
25% off anything – http://www.vistaprint.co.uk/special25
25% off anything – http://www.vistaprint.co.uk/25promo
33% off anything – http://www.vistaprint.co.uk/25buy

Just as a disclaimer, if “The Cube” has rotated in the meantime and the page is no longer there, or the link no longer works – it’s not my fault. Like I said, Vistaprint is continually shifting and changing on a daily basis. Just keep trying different things.
Also, it’s worth knowing that if you design something and put it into your online cart, and then ignore it for three days, they’ll send you an email offering you 35% off. So if you’re not in a rush, may as well wait for that one.

MOO.com BUSINESS CARDS

I love Moo. They do great business cards and the thing I like best about them, well two things, first is – they print in colour on both sides of the card which is brill but the all time best thing is that you can have a different image on every single card!! They do them in batches of 50, and so you can upload up to 50 images for them! It’s fantastic. Having a wide array of bright, colourful, unique cards in your wallet. Wow…
If you want to get some for yourself, here’s some codes:
10% off (these are all one time use things I think, so it’s a different code for each time. Use them wisely, once they’re gone, they’re gone) –
SQRDYQ
2JDXDF
MXD8P8

“Get an extra 10% our 200 pack with this code: TFENM9”

GRAZE
Have you heard of them yet? This one isn’t actually stationery related, it’s delicious nibbles! I’m a big fan, although I’ve had to cut down the number of boxes I was getting because £3.49 a pop begins to really mount up. However, I can offer you a free box, log in, use the code, try a box and if you like it, get more, if you don’t, cancel your account. They don’t force you to subscribe to them or anything, it’s totally up to you whether you stay or go. Plus you can decide how many days a week, or month, you want a box from them.
ONE FREE BOX: 7NQW3CV

LETRASET

An excellent stationery site. I’m a bit fan of beautiful pens, naturally, so I’ve been given a 10% off coupon, there doesn’t seem to be any restrictions on it other than don’t use with other offers. So, share and share alike eh?
Code: RPT5762

Enjoy!!

Off On A Tangent

You know how you start doing something, then get totally distracted and go off on a tangent. Well, I set off to declutter and tidy my office and, being already exhausted, began by going on the internet to read articles about how to tidy an office. That way I could pretend I was actually working, you know, without actually working.

So in my search for handy hints and tips on decluttering, there were many other checklist type articles to choose from. I didn’t look at any, but I decided instead to imagine what they would say if I clicked on them. Presuming they were written by someone on a deadline.

1. Valentines day checklist. – Get boyfriend or girlfriend. Check.
2. Get organised with checklists. – Check.
3. Helpful moving tips and checklist. – Pick up object. Move it. Check.
4. What to include in a babysitter’s checklist.- Baby. Check.
5. How to find the energy to declutter. – Sleep. Check.
6. Secrets to cut down junk snail mail. – Fit shredder to letter box. Check.
7. Top ten spring cleaning tips for excellent and quick results. – Hire ten cleaners. Check.
8. How to get your child to love reading. – Sell TV. Check.

“Dead Bread” or “Hand Sandwich Anyone?”

If you’ve been following the news lately then you’ll more than likely be aware of some horrible goings on that involve a little bit of cannibalism. Not very pleasant. You know what IS pleasant? Bread. It’s the staple food of civilisation, the recipe pre-dates written history and it’s, well it’s just nice, friendly, nothing scary about bread right?

Holy mackerel!!

What the heck is that?! I hear you cry, well, obviously it’s bread. Believe it or not, there is a guy over in Thailand called Kittiwat Unarrom who works in his parent’s bakery for six hours every day making a wide variety of unbelievably grotesque loaves of bread.

mmm, delicious limb pieces…

Kittiwat studied fine art at university and used his knowledge of bread dough that he’d picked up in his parent’s shop, in order to make some scary bread sculptures for his project. They were so good people just loved them, so he kept on doing it. Now he sells them in the bakery, they come shrink wrapped in food containers and the wall display of bread looks like something out of Saw, or Dexter. It’s a macabre trophy shelf of victim pieces, that you can eat!

Whether or not you’d really be able to chow down on something so realistically horrifying is another question, but the fact is Kittiwat is really breaking the bread mold when it comes to food art. Some of his pieces are selling for upwards of £250 and business is booming.

I for one am blown away by the talent of this man, the realism of these loaves beggars belief. The way he’s actually carved and sculpted the dough, painted it, glazed it – it’s a staggering amount of effort.

I can’t help but wonder though, what did he use as reference material?

Top Three Ridiculous Requests Of The Week

Greetings cuddle muffins! Alrighty then, so I’ve got a couple of offerings from the bin of hopeless adverts here for your delight, delectation or just general ambivalence. So, here are this issues top three unbelievably shocking artistic requests made towards the creative industry…

Third Place:

Looking for an illustrator / artist who can draw up 14 little cartoons (black/white) each pertaining to a description (e.g. chess, science, etc.)
To be used on a website.

It shouldn’t take long for the right person to produce what we need. Pay is $40 for the project, including any changes to be made after feedback.

Remember the translation guide I posted a few days ago? The eagle eyed amongst you will note the careful use of the phrase “shouldn’t take long for the right person”. Of course we all know what they really mean by that, not that they left you guessing there as they follow it swiftly up with “Pay is $40” (if you can’t be bothered getting out the calculator, he’s offering $2.86 per illustration) and just as you’re reeling from the sheer brass neckery of it all, they finish you off with the kicker “including any changes to be made after feedback”.
Ouch! Good luck with that…

Second Place:

I am writing a children book and would love to toss some ideas around as far as the illustrations go. Maybe see what you have to offer and go from there. At the moment NO PAY IS OFFERED. How ever if we continue and see a common vision, than I would love to make a select person the illustrator for the book and list you as such on the cover.

Again we can refer to our handy-dandy translation guide for this one boys and girls, see where she says “NO PAY IS OFFERED” that gives us some indication of what she has in mind here. However, even without this glaringly obvious factoid, we’ve also got the old ‘jam tomorrow’ tactic, the promise of future work and fame, fabulous fabulous fame as she promises to list your name on the cover no less! This of course is after you’ve trawled your creative talents giving her an unspecified number of ideas for HER book, which, if she likes them, she may decide you can then bring them to life for her – for free. If she doesn’t like them, you’re out on your ear anyway for the same amount of no money. Plus, she might just take your ideas and saunter off into the sunset with them. “Toss some ideas around” indeed!

The Winner:

I need an excellent illustrator to make a rendering of a battle scene with George Washington from the Revolutionary War. Piece should be stylized and resemble porcelain etchings and artwork with decorative elements.

Please email me for specifics, I need this ASAP. $150

This is, without a doubt, the clear winner of this post’s selection. How could anyone top this…well I suppose if they were asking for the same thing and offering less money. Yes, granted, they didn’t have the out and out bare faced cheek to not offer any pay at all, but $150 for a rendering of a BATTLE SCENE from the revolutionary war, starring George Washington resembling porcelain with decorative elements. I’m sorry, come again? You want what now? For how much?!
Then just to really take your breath away, they begin it by asking for an excellent illustrator (for $150?!) and end it by saying they need it “ASAP”. Oh right, yeah, last minute porcelain etched battle scenes, it’ll be with you by five.

Tune in next time for more shocking discoveries from the world of freelance illustrating…